Are you WHO or a WIFE? Funny Meme

Are you WHO or a WIFE? Funny Meme
Are you WHO or a WIFE? Funny Meme

Vaccine will not be enough to stop Pandemic: WHO CHIEF

@Pankaj Mishra – Washing hands not enough. Social distancing not enough. Now, vaccine not enough. Are you WHO or a WIFE? 🙁

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How To Spend Thanksgiving ALONE

If you live alone and are staying put for Thanksgiving this year, here are some quick, easy and delicious recipes for one that are so good, you won’t miss eating with your family at all.


1.

Salty Wine

First up salty wine: a delicious boozy cocktail that will help you get through this lonely, desperate holiday. All you need is a bottle of wine and a small glass of your own tears!

To get enough tears, just think for a moment about how you might never get to see your loved ones again, because the future is a pitch, black unknowable abyss. Pour the wine and then the tears into a glass. Shake it up and ta da, your sweet salty boozy drink is ready to jug.

How To Spend Thanksgiving ALONE
How To Spend Thanksgiving ALONE

2.

Solo Mashed Potatoes

Now let’s move on to side dishes. No Thanksgiving meal is complete without mashed potatoes. Generally mashed potatoes are made with potatoes, butter, cream, salt, and pepper, but this solo mashed potatoes recipe is a lot quicker. You need one raw potato and one large hammer. Put the potato on a table and hammer at it until it’s completely unrecognizable. Then put it into a coffee mug, add a little water, microwave for five minutes and voila, your mashed potato is served.

How To Spend Thanksgiving ALONE
How To Spend Thanksgiving ALONE

3.

Simple Flat Bread

Every meal needs bread. For your solo Thanksgiving, why not bake a simple flat bread that will take you no time at all? It’s called letter to your family about how COVID is real. You just need a pen and a piece of paper. First preheat the oven to 450. Then take out your pen and write a letter to your parents who don’t think COVID is real to tell them it’s super irresponsible that they’re having a big Thanksgiving meal today with all of your family and they need to get tested. Then realize they’re not going to listen to you no matter what you say and put the letter in the oven for 10 minutes at 450. When it comes out, it will be a completely harmless pile of ash.

How To Spend Thanksgiving ALONE
How To Spend Thanksgiving ALONE

4.

Trash Turkey

Now we’re at the main dish of our solo Thanksgiving celebration, the turkey. A whole Turkey is obviously too much for one person and even a single Turkey breast is pushing it. A much better turkey recipe for one is trash turkey. Trash Turkey only has one ingredient, desperation. All you need to do is go out in the alley behind your house on Thanksgiving night and listen to see which neighbor has a lot of people over, suggesting they cooked a big Thanksgiving feast. Then find their trash can and route through it until you find the Turkey remains. Grab them, then find a dark hidden place and tear off as much sweet Turkey flesh as possible with your teeth.

How To Spend Thanksgiving ALONE
How To Spend Thanksgiving ALONE

5.

Squeezed Pumpkin Pie

Finally, it’s not Thanksgiving without pumpkin pie. So for dessert, take a handful of sugar, pour a bit of orange juice on it and then shove it down your wretched maw.

How To Spend Thanksgiving ALONE
How To Spend Thanksgiving ALONE

Hope these recipes helped you prepare for your solo holiday. Have a happy Thanksgiving!


CREDITS

Producers:

Tamara Yajia, Grace Thomas & Darren Miller

Writer:

Grace Thomas

Voiceover:

Julie Greiner

Finally You Can Wear Your Own ‘Friends’ Thanksgiving Turkey

Originally published 15 October 2019

Thanksgiving is definitely not a holiday known for its extremely elaborate decorations or fanciful costumes, but this year you could be the one to start a new tradition in your family or friend group. Or make everyone you enjoy Thanksgiving with severely uncomfortable and ask questions like, “You sure you’re okay?” But hey, either way it’s gonna be a memorable year.

Just when we thought that the hit 90’s sitcom Friends had finally exhausted it’s time in the spotlight and that we’d finally seen everything, the online retailer Firebox is here to prove us all wrong. For better or worse.

Remember the one where Monica wears that giant turkey with comically large sunglasses on her head for Thanksgiving? Of course you do. We all do. It’s all into our brains forever, and now you can pay homage to that particular episode in the most fitting way possible.

You can wear your own turkey with comically large sunglasses.

(It’s not a real turkey, don’t worry. Although you can still do this with a real turkey if you want to, we’re not gonna stop you, but we’re not gonna encourage it either.)

Finally You Can Wear Your Own ‘Friends’ Thanksgiving Turkey
Finally You Can Wear Your Own ‘Friends’ Thanksgiving Turkey

You can get this delectably chic(k), Thanksgiving-ready look on Firebox for $37.99, and the description promises to “guarantee accidental confessions of love” but I still think that’s a job best completed by too much Thanksgiving wine.

And, if you really, really want to, you can complete your turkey attire with this heated “huggable” stuffed Friends plush turkey.

How to plug USB Stick in the MacBook Funny Meme

How to plug USB Stick in the MacBook Funny Meme
How to plug USB Stick in the MacBook Funny Meme

Wait a minute, how do I plug a USB stick into this $2000 MacBook? Apple

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Best Of The Web Nominees Vol. 4

Best Of The Web Nominees Vol. 4

Poll

Vote for the Best Of The Web Vol. 4 Audience Pick!

  • 0%
    These Ads Are Getting Weirdly Specific

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  • 0%
    I Gained Weight During COVID

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  • 0%
    Am I the NEXT Nas Daily?

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    I’ll Never Leave My House Again

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    The Circle Back

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    Coma Patient Wakes Up in 2020

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0 votes total Vote Now


We receive tons of submissions every day from the community of comedy creators across the world. We review as many as we can, and are very excited to start featuring some of our favorites as Best Of The Web Nominees for YOU, the audience (hi), to vote on.

The winner will be crowned as a Best Of The Web Audience Pick (we’re extremely creative) and will receive lifelong glory, validation, immortality, fame, etc. etc. etc. But we need your help to make it happen! Vote!

If you think you can do better yourself, or if you want to nominate someone else’s video to be included in a future roundup, you can submit videos here.

These roundups will only feature submissions; if we find other great stuff elsewhere, we’ll write about it elsewhere! We have a whole website, actually. Check it out if you have time!

Here are the Best Of The Web Volume 4 Nominees!


These Ads Are Getting Weirdly Specific

[embedded content]

Okay they are for sure listening.

Created by Happy Pants (Youtube / Facebook / Instagram)
Cast: Cole Garrett, Keegan Duncan, Jessica Lucatorto


I Gained Weight During COVID

[embedded content]

For everyone who’s gained some weight during COVID, this song’s for you! Animation/music by Luba Magnus, and voiced by Meg MacKay. The video is funny, cute, body-positive, and sure to cheer you up 🙂

Created by Luba Magnus (Youtube / Instagram / Twitter)


[embedded content]

An Unforgettable insanely funny video about the vloggers phenomenon. It’s not just a shitty parody. watch til the end.

Created by Ido Katzir (Youtube / Instagram / Facebook)


I’ll Never Leave My House Again

[embedded content]

Made with a mix of live-action and stop motion, this is what happens when Quarantine finally gets to you.

Written by, Directed by, & Starring Ari Frenkel (Instagram)

Featuring the voices of Dave Murgittroyd, Angeliea Stark, Mike Millan, Joe Conti, Mike Liscio, Justin Anthony Long, Alissa Garcia, Karl Girolamo and Bonnie Golson.

AriFrenkel.com


The Circle Back

[embedded content]

E-mails, layoffs, and the apocalypse — employees working from home will send whatever it takes to cling onto their health insurance on The Circle Back, a spin-off parody of the hit Netflix reality-competition series. Created by Madeleine Daste Written by Anca Vlasan Featuring Boss – Madison Hatfield Senior Manager – Andrea Laing Marketing Rep – Heath Hancock Coordinator – Catherine Holly Sales Rep – Fray Forde HR Rep – Jonothon Mitchell Brought to you by Fishbrain Productions Some Blonde Girl Productions

Created by Madeleine Daste
Written by Anca Vlasan (Website / Twitter / Instagram)

Featuring
Boss – Madison Hatfield
Senior Manager – Andrea Laing
Marketing Rep – Heath Hancock
Coordinator – Catherine Holly
Sales Rep – Fray Forde
HR Rep – Jonothon Mitchell

Brought to you by
Fishbrain Productions
Some Blonde Girl Productions


[embedded content]

A famous scene between Tony and Carmella. The NY Times called it “disturbing”… The Boston Globe said “It tonally missed the mark”

Created by Hannah Doyon (YouTube / Instagram)


Coma Patient Wakes Up in 2020

[embedded content]

A coma patient wakes from an 11-month-long coma in the year 2020 and has to be given the rundown on everything he missed.

Created by Blake Studwell (Youtube)


Poll

Vote for the Best Of The Web Vol. 4 Audience Pick!

  • 0%
    These Ads Are Getting Weirdly Specific

    (0 votes)

  • 0%
    I Gained Weight During COVID

    (0 votes)

  • 0%
    Am I the NEXT Nas Daily?

    (0 votes)

  • 0%
    I’ll Never Leave My House Again

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  • 0%
    The Circle Back

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Spotlight on Up & Coming Latinx Creators: Tamara Yajia

Spotlight on Up & Coming Latinx Creators: Tamara Yajia

Tamara Yajia is an Argentinian comedian, writer, actress and musician. Originally from Buenos Aires, Tam moved to the United States as a teenager. After her family’s tourist visa expired, she spent some time undocumented and credits her past experiences and Latin heritage for helping find her voice as a comedian.

Her comedy, like the Funny Or Die series Telenovelas Are Hell, helps bring people together and is all about being yourself. She’s been hailed by Playboy as “one of the funniest women on Twitter.” Tam has written for Clickhole, The Cut, Merry Jane and Funny Or Die, and is best known for her Funny Or Die series ‘Me Llamo Alma’ and ‘Movie Mama” — where she gets drunk and watches a classic or cult movie she’s never seen before.

For more of Tam’s work, visit https://www.iamtamarayajia.com/and follow her on Twitter @danceswithtamis and Instagram @tamarayajia.

For resources to support a growing coalition of activists, leaders, and artists pushing for change like Tam, visit momentolatino.us

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Shannen Doherty Cook Virtual Thanksgiving Together

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Shannen Doherty Cook Virtual Thanksgiving Together

Think virtual Thanksgiving doesn’t actually involve food? Caught entirely unaware until your mom called you to ask if you were making her famous turkey pot pies? Well, then you have more in common with Sarah Michelle Gellar than you even realized!

Not wanting to let her mom down, even from afar, Sarah and her best friend, Shannen Doherty had to act quickly. Luckily, Kroger has them covered! Just a few simple taps and the fresh ingredients were on their way, and their moms didn’t even notice a thing (and Shannen may or may not have picked up an entire pie and ate it like a sandwich). Thanksgiving may be a little different this year, but some things never change.

There’s A Petition For Danny DeVito To Play Wolverine So Drop Everything And Sign It

Originally published 21 May 2019

Gandhi never actually said “be the change you want to see in the world” but a whole crop of inspirational posters in dental offices and coffee mugs have, and regardless of who coined that phrase, the sentiment is what matters. Getting involved and championing causes is so important. Causes that really, truly matter. Causes that will make the world a better place.

Causes like getting Danny DeVito to be the next Wolverine.

He’s played every type of character under the sun.

He’s been villains

There’s A Petition For Danny DeVito To Play Wolverine So Drop Everything And Sign It
There’s A Petition For Danny DeVito To Play Wolverine So Drop Everything And Sign It

He’s been doctors

There’s A Petition For Danny DeVito To Play Wolverine So Drop Everything And Sign It
There’s A Petition For Danny DeVito To Play Wolverine So Drop Everything And Sign It

He’s been a very serious world renowned art critic

There’s A Petition For Danny DeVito To Play Wolverine So Drop Everything And Sign It
There’s A Petition For Danny DeVito To Play Wolverine So Drop Everything And Sign It

THE MAN’S GOT RANGE!

So it’s only logical that the next iconic role he takes on is a complex, tortured hero like Wolverine. It’s either that or Hamlet. And rather than wait for this guaranteed blockbuster to be made, a very proactive fan decided to take matters into his own hands and create a petition to speed things along.

As of this moment, the petition is about a thousand signatures short of it’s goal. But considering how incredibly amazing this idea is it shouldn’t take long to pass it.

Everyone, please, together we can make this happen. We NEED Danny DeVito Wolverine. We DESERVE Danny DeVito Wolverine. Sign the petition now and let’s make this beautiful dream a reality.


R E L A T E D

We know that Danny DeVito has what it takes to be the next Wolverine, but only Hugh Jackman can unite the mutants and put on the greatest show the world has ever seen, because Hugh Jackman is the Greatest Logan.

This University Has A ‘Draw Danny DeVito Wall’ And I Want To Enroll

Originally published 11 October 2019

There are a lot of admirable Americans out there, but there is only one Danny DeVito. And I think that we all know he’s the one true king of American icons. Which is why we’re all so enthralled — no, dare I say, enamoured by him. That’s why there was even a petition to get him to play Wolverine, which, hey — what happened to that? I need this to happen, WE ALL need this to happen. But I digress.

DeVito has inspired more than just petitions, he’s now inspired art. In an academic institution, no less.

The subreddit /r/mildlyinteresting contains exactly that: Things that are mildly interesting. Although I take some issue with this particular post, because this isn’t simply “mildly interesting”. This is goddamn glorious.

At Mystery University in Unspecified City, a reddit user posted this most magnificent sight:

A Danny DeVito drawing board.

This University Has A ‘Draw Danny DeVito Wall’ And I Want To Enroll reddit

Like I said, I don’t know what city this is in or which university this is, but wherever it is, it deserves ALL THE FUNDING. Because what’s a better way to get young academic minds going than by encouraging this kind of art?!

Johnno and Michael Try New Years


JOHNNO AND MICHAEL HAVEN’T DONE ANY OF THEIR NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS – AND THE YEAR ENDS IN A FEW HOURS!

Despite the time-crunch, Johnno and Michael decide they’re going to try completing all their resolutions in eight short hours.

Surprisingly, the duo is able to knock out a lot of their resolutions fairly quickly. However – because the boys are in a rush, they accidentally misread, “meet Rob at the bank” as “rob a bank” and accidentally commit a felony crime – whoopsies!

Johnno and Michael Try New Years
Johnno and Michael Try New Years

Will Johnno and Michael be able to resolve all their resolutions before the clock strikes midnight? How come stealing almost 200K in cash was enough to pay off Johnno’s debt, but not Michael’s? You’ll just have to watch the final episode of Johnno And Michael Try to find out!


CREDITS

Johnno: Johnno Wilson @johnnowilson

Michael: Michael Strassner @strasshola

Guy Fieri: Chris Riggi @chrisriggi


ABOUT JOHNNO AND MICHAEL TRY

In this series, Johnno and Michael try things. The two aren’t always successful and (often) hilariously fail, but hey – at least they’re having fun!

Watch every episode of Johnno and Michael Try:

http://funnyordie.com/johnno-and-michael-try

The CDC Recommends You Watch These TikToks To Distract Yourself From This Never-Ending Quarantine

The CDC Recommends You Watch These TikToks To Distract Yourself From This Never-Ending Quarantine

Until there’s a widespread COVID vaccine available (or if we all get our sh*t together and wear our masks properly for a few weeks) we are living in perpetual captivity – weeeeeee!

To distract you from the invisible prison we’re all trapped in for the foreseeable future, I wanted to show you a few viral comedians I came across this week on TikTok: Katie Florence, B Mo the Prince, and Molly May Rockwell.


Katie Florence • 1.5M followers (@katieflorence)

Human beings are beautiful, but GOD we are hilariously flawed. Being able to create relatable content about the inner-workings of the human brain is not an easy, but Katie Florence has found a light-hearted and funny way to showcase how contradictory our inner thoughts and subsequent actions are. Her videos are not only comedically genius, but encourages people to be more honest about their flawed (yet funny) thoughts. The more we can truthfully talk about what’s going on in our heads, the better we function in every part of our life. Katie Florence is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs, and… why is she only on TikTok? Why isn’t she on TV!? HELLO – CAN SOMEONE FIX THIS!?

The five stages of realizing you’ve been ghosted

When you go back to their place after a date, see their place, and realize they’re trash

When your bag gets randomly inspected at the airport


B Mo the Prince • 610k followers (@bmotheprince)

Every generation has its strengths and weaknesses. Gen Z is woke, but remember when they started eating tide pods? Wild. Millennials are super hard working, but suck as committing to anything. Boomers built a lot of great things, but God WHY WON’T YOU RE-CONSIDER YOUR RACIST AND SEXIEST OLD FASHIONED WAYS!? Anyway, B Mo the Prince (Brain Moller) videos puts each generation in a room and lets them straight up ROAST each other. Obviously, the videos are hilarious, but more importantly he highlights the differences and stereotypes associated with each generation, which not only generates great comedy, but low-key unites the generations so we can point out our generational flaws, laugh at it, fix it, and build a better tomorrow. He’s making the world a better place – one video at a time.

Millennials vs. Gen Z: The Great American Drink-Off

2020 Christmas vs. 2020 Thanksgiving

Millennials vs. Gen Z: Dances


Molly May Rockwell • 74k followers (@mollymayrockwell)

Modern technology is amazing, but even with all of that innovation, our devices are stupid and their flaws causes minor inconveniences and not-so-minor embarrassments in our everyday lives. Molly May Rockwell – knows as “the GPS girl” on TikTok for her videos making fun of how hilariously unintuitive GPS apps are – makes videos showing us what it would be like if our devices could talk to us, and it is so funny. I could watch her all day. Could someone give her a show so I could watch her all day? Snapchat, Netflix – seriously, anyone that can make this happen – MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!

When your GPS is endlessly recalculating

When your computer “can’t find the printer” even though it’s RIGHT THERE

When your phone self-programs events into your calendar


Like my TikTok recommendations? Cool. Got better ones? Awesome! If there’s a TikTok account you think FOD should feature, send it my way: kat@funnyordie.com

Follow FOD on TikTok! https://vm.tiktok.com/J2NGVMq/

Also… follow me (the author – hi!) on TikTok! https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJhJse89/

Read all of our TikTok Creator Spotlights! http://funnyordie.com/tiktok-spotlight

Edgardo Allan Poe’s “The Raven”

A note from the author about how “The Raven” by Edgardo Allan Poe came to be written:

“I was inspired to write that story when I was arrested by ICE. One day, somebody knock on my door and they say, “Your pizza’s ready.” I did not order no pizza. And also it was seven o’clock in the morning. When I open the door, eight guys in Pizza Hut polos rushed in and they suplex me through my TV. Apparently a lady called 911 and said, “A Latino in a house.” I spent two months in prison, but they had to let me go because actually I was born in Baltimore, Maryland. When I was one years old, my family moved to Uruguay so my dad could be the first manager at the first Sears in Montevideo.”

Edgardo Allan Poe’s “The Raven”
Edgardo Allan Poe’s “The Raven”

The Raven • by Edgardo Allan Poe

The Raven flew into my house like a bat out of hell.

And it landed on the head of my life-size statue of JFK.

“Raven, it is after midnight,” I say.

“I am trying to nap.”

But the Raven say, “Nevermore.”

I told the Raven that now that me and Leonora had broken up,

I would try to eat healthy and work out,

but the Raven say, “Nevermore.”

“Get out of here, you stupid, evil Raven!” I say.

“You cannot come to a man’s house and torment him like this.”

But the Raven say, “Nevermore.”

Finally, the Raven left after I open a window and I sprayed the bird with Glade.

Edgardo Allan Poe’s “The Raven”
Edgardo Allan Poe’s “The Raven”

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Let’s Take A Moment To Appreciate This Year’s Awful Art Restorations

Given that 2020 has been an unending shit show of political turmoil, climate disasters, and a global pandemic, it’s understandable that some of the less urgent or, shall we say, completely dire things that have transpired over the last year have flown under the radar. Two of these news stories that were drowned out by the fact that the world is on fire, both figuratively and literally, come to us from Spain, and both involve the arts.

Spain, like much of Europe, was forever changed by its Renaissance period, and is well-known for the works of art created during that period and in the centuries that followed. What’s definitely less cool for Spain, though, is it’s also globally renowned for some of the worst art restorations of all time.

You may recall in 2012 when a parishioner offered to fix a flaking 1930’s fresco of Jesus painted inside the church she attends in northeast Spain, and, despite the fact that she’s a recreational painter with no training whatsoever in art restoration, the priest said, “This seems like a good idea, knock yourself out.”

And so, Ecce Homo became Monkey Jesus.


Let’s Take A Moment To Appreciate This Year’s Awful Art Restorations
Ecce Homo before the restoration
Elías García Martínez | Public Domain

Let’s Take A Moment To Appreciate This Year’s Awful Art Restorations
The restored work, now Monkey Jesus
AFP via Getty Images


Jesus wept

When Monkey Jesus (or Potato Jesus, whichever speaks to you more) was unveiled to the world, we all collectively went, “Well, that’s it, that’s the worst restoration, nothing could possibly top this.”

And yet!

Over the last six months Spain has blessed cursed us with not one, but TWO more crimes against the arts, possibly humankind as a whole. The first took place back in June, and I’m honestly furious that I’m just learning about it today.

Let’s Take A Moment To Appreciate This Year’s Awful Art Restorations
The Immaculate Conception of Los Venerables by Bartolomé Esteban Murillo in 1678
Europa Press via Getty Images

As first reported by The Guardian, an art collector in Valencia paid a furniture restorer around $1,400 to clean a piece in their private collection, a copy of 17th century painting The Immaculate Conception of Los Venerables. Considering the excellent state the painting was already in, this should’ve been a fairly straight-forward job.

Except this collector hired a furniture restorer, which would be like hiring your dad’s buddy who restores classic cars to, well, clean a coveted 17th century painting.


The result was, to use an art term, a goddamn nightmare.

Let’s Take A Moment To Appreciate This Year’s Awful Art Restorations Europa Press via Getty Images

I think that’s when most of us would throw in the towel, call up the art collector, and be like, “Okay, don’t be mad—” But no, the furniture-restorer-turned-art-destroyer decided that they could still fix this! So they gave it another go,

and made it so much worse, somehow.

Let’s Take A Moment To Appreciate This Year’s Awful Art Restorations Europa Press via Getty Images
A lot of decisions led up to this point, none of them good.

The second curséd “restoration” was unleashed upon humanity earlier this week in the Spanish town of Palencia. The victim of this crime wasn’t a painting, but a sculpture adorned on the exterior of a building, and the person commissioned to restore it was Antonio Capel — a painter. Okay, crazy idea, but imagine if we tasked the restoration of works of art to —bear with me, here— people who are trained to restore works of art. Just a thought!

The sculpture before the heinous restoration took place looked, honestly, pretty fine?

Let’s Take A Moment To Appreciate This Year’s Awful Art Restorations Courtesy of ABC

It’s not clear what part of this sculpture was in need of restoration, but based on the results, I’m assuming the problem was that this just looked a little too human.

Let’s Take A Moment To Appreciate This Year’s Awful Art Restorations Courtesy of ABC

Good. God.

I mean, it’s fine, I guess, if the goal is making babies cry and opening a portal to a dimension of pure pain and suffering. And, alright, aside from the fact that these restorations are straight up abominations, one could argue they are pretty accurate reflections of the year we’ve all had. Like if there is one picture that perfectly summarizes where I’m at mentally and emotionally in eleventh month of 2020, it’s this.

Let’s Take A Moment To Appreciate This Year’s Awful Art Restorations